


Soon It Will Be Just Like It Never Was

by arkadias



Series: Running Mates [1]
Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: A little angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, a lot of frotting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-15
Updated: 2013-10-15
Packaged: 2017-12-29 11:53:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1005111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arkadias/pseuds/arkadias
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Follows the [<b>fictional</b>] events of the 2013 Singapore and Korean Grand Prix after Romain learns of Kimi's move to Ferrari.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Soon It Will Be Just Like It Never Was

**Author's Note:**

> I understand that for most people, this ship is .... ridiculous. But it holds a little place in my heart :) if you don't like the pairing, you don't have to read it!

"But why?" Romain shouted, sounding hurt. He had burst through the door to Kimi's room in the motorhome, demanding an answer to a question he didn't even have to ask.  
  
"Don't yell." Kimi said calmly, and Romain sighed angrily.  
  
"Why?" He asked again, quietly this time, knowing he wouldn't get an answer from the Finn if he didn't collect himself at least a little bit.  
  
"You already know why." Kimi shrugged. He had discussed the money problems with his teammate a few weeks back, and he'd even brought it up to the media in the Thursday's press conference— but this was the first time seeing each other since Kimi's 'announcement.'  
  
"And it doesn't even make sense! We've always been paid. Maybe a little late, but..." Kimi was staring at him, saying nothing and Romain couldn't stand the eye contact anymore and looked down at his shoes. They were both still in their race suits, FP1 had just ended, and Kimi was sitting on a small sofa across the room, Romain still standing by the door, which he realised he'd left open for everyone to hear, and quickly slammed it shut. He tried not to notice the little smirk that appeared on Kimi's face.  
  
"It's more than that." Kimi finally spoke. "Ferrari might have the better car, and I had the chance so I took it." He didn't know what else to say, but he knew that wouldn't be enough for his teammate.  
  
"Fine, but we will get better, the car will get better." Romain was practically mumbling to his feet, overwhelmed with anger and fear. Fear of what the team might be without Kimi, fear of what _he_ might be without Kimi. "We need you." He looked up, locking his gaze with Kimi's watching his expression change ever so slightly. He couldn't quite tell what emotion had stirred inside the Finn, but it was there, something in his eyes.  
  
"I'm sorry." Kimi said quietly. He knew nothing he said would make it better, so he blurt out the first thing that came to mind. Romain closed the distance between them, standing in front of Kimi on the couch, arms down by his sides, hands clenched into fists.  
  
"If I had the balls, I would punch you." Romain said through gritted teeth. "You could have told me?" Kimi had been staring at his stomach, his name branded across his waist with a little French flag and he thought that Romain looked pretty good in black.  
  
"I said I'm sorry." Kimi finally looked up at his teammate and shrugged again. "What else should I say?" He asked, fighting the urge to add ' _to make you happy.'_  
  
"To start, you could at least pretend that you mean it." Romain bit out, and turned on his heel, walking towards the door. He didn't get very far before Kimi was there behind him, one hand on Romain's wrist and the other making its way around the younger man's waist.  
  
"I mean it." Kimi's hand stroked across Romain's stomach, somewhat possessively. "I'm _sorry._ " He repeated, leaning in and letting the words brush over the flushed skin of Romain's neck. "You know I'm no good with this shit." Kimi could feel some of the tightness easing from the Frenchman's body, anger subsiding slightly. Kimi pulled Romain's wrist behind his back, nudging him forward and pinning him gently against the wall.  
  
"Kimi, let go." Romain's voice was quiet.  
  
"No." Kimi's forehead pressed against Romain's shoulder. "You don't need me." Romain was bracing himself against the wall with his free hand, and shook his head lightly. "Are you listening?" Kimi continued. "You don't need me. You're better than that. You will lead this team. And you're good enough." There was a few awkward moments of Kimi holding Romain like this, his face buried in the back of Romain's shoulder, when the Frenchman shifted lightly against the wall, shaking Kimi from the moment. "So go." He cleared his throat, releasing the grip he had on Romain's wrist and nudging him towards the door.  
  
Romain stumbled to the door, but hesitated for a moment, giving Kimi a look that seemed to say nothing at all before opening the door and quickly leaving. Kimi had no idea if he'd managed to ''fix'' anything, but he hoped it would do for now.

**~*~**

Singapore went everything but Romain's way, and Kimi found it difficult to enjoy his podium. Because of Romain's retirement but for a multitude of other reasons as well. Ever since he told the team he was leaving, things were strange. They dynamic of the team faltered, and all of the focus was suddenly on Romain— something he wasn't used to. When he thought logically, it made sense. They favoured Romain now, and that was that, but it didn't stop him from feeling uneasy. He wouldn't ever let anyone else know it, but it made him feel completely worthless.  
  
Kimi's bad back wasn't helping the situation either, the media jumping all over him throughout the weekend, even after the race. It was some ridiculous hour in the morning when he finally made it back to his hotel, and it was beginning to look like the sun was going to come up. There would be two weeks before Korea and Kimi was thankful for this. His back was becoming such a pain that he planned to stay in Korea a few more days; avoid any unnecessary movement and traveling and take it easy for now. His physio had a hectic schedule prepared for him in the next week and he was going to enjoy his moments of relaxation while it lasted.  
  
Once in his hotel room, he slipped his jeans off and discarded them on the floor, flopping down on his bed, groaning lightly when the bones and muscles in his back creaked and settled. There was perfect silence in the hotel, apart from the whir of the air-con. Everyone was sleeping now, the entire hotel quiet and peaceful and it didn't take long before Kimi could feel his eyelids growing heavy. Too heavy.  
  
Suddenly there was a knock on his door, one he barely heard and he decided to ignore it. Whoever it was could wait until he'd had some sleep. A few moments later his phone went off, and although he had no intention of answering, he just wanted to see who it was. He picked it up from its place on the nightstand and glared at it— it was a message from Romain.  
  
 _'Can I come in?'_ Kimi sighed loudly.  
  
 _'Why'_ He responded simply.  
  
 _'I just want to talk to you for a minute.'_ And Kimi sighed again. He was just beginning to get comfortable in his bed— he was about to finally get some sleep, but he still lifted himself from the bed, rubbing his face as he walked to the door, opening it a crack. The light from the hallway stinging his eyes.  
  
"What is it?" He asked, staring at his young teammate blankly.  
  
"Let me in please." Romain didn't look himself. He wasn't smiling, not even a tiny hint of a smile, and his eyes seemed dark. Not like himself at all, so Kimi stepped to the side, opening the door for Romain to enter and he shut the door quickly.  
  
"Did anyone see you?" Kimi was still in his underwear and a thin white t-shirt as he stood by the door, watching Romain pace around the room. "And sit down somewhere, vittu." He fussed, furrowing his brow and sighing when Romain finally took a seat at the edge of his bed.  
  
"No one saw me. Hardly anyone is left here." Romain shrugged, avoiding eye contact with his teammate.  
  
"What do you need." Kimi asked more seriously now. Romain didn't say anything, he just leaned back on the bed, lying flat with his legs hanging over the edge. His hands came up to cover his eyes, and he sighed, his breath hitching in his throat. Romain feels the bed dip next to him, and he lets one had fall, and he squinted at Kimi who was lying next to him, propped up on his elbow. Romain opened his mouth to say something, he felt like he had to explain himself, but Kimi cut him off with a harsh "Shhh."  
  
They shift awkwardly, Kimi reaching under Romain's arms to pull him up the bed, resting him gently on the pillows. Kimi rolled off the bed, and Romain was about to protest, but he felt Kimi pulling at his shoes, throwing them onto the floor. He tugged lightly at the bottoms of Romain's jeans, and the Frenchman obliged, unbuckling his belt and undoing the snaps, allowing Kimi to pull them off completely and they landed by his shoes.  
  
Kimi rejoined him on the bed, pulling the covers up and slotting himself behind his teammate. Romain still felt like he wanted to cry, but he wasn't about to let himself in front of Kimi, not even in this tender moment, so instead he squeezed his eyes shut as tightly as he could. He sighed contently when Kimi lazily flopped an arm over his waist, giving him another quiet "Shhh" before he relaxed, letting sleep come quickly.  
  
Kimi, however, lay awake for a long while more. The sun coming through the window told him he should sleep, but his brain was buzzing. The soft sound of Romain sleeping in his arms made his stomach flip, and no matter how many times they did this, he would never understand. He would _never_ understand how Romain made him feel this way. Like he needed to protect him, hold him, comfort him. He didn't want to leave, but Kimi always told himself: 'Racing comes first' and he wasn't about to change his tune. But the fact that Romain seemed increasingly bothered by the fact was making it hard. Very _very_ hard. Kimi instinctively tightened his grip on Romain's waist and prayed for sleep.

**~*~**

When Kimi woke in the morning, Romain had gone.

**~*~**

Kimi usually never showed up on the Thursday, track walks and debriefs were never anything that interested him, but the team insisted that he come to sort out the new seat. He wanted to tell them that Friday would work better with his ''busy schedule'' but his physio wouldn't let him; shouting at Kimi about how his comfort in the car was priority. _Blah blah,_ Kimi thought, but coming on Thursday also meant that he would undoubtedly bump into Romain— and indeed he did.  
  
After nearly an hour of working with the team, Romain arrived in the garage, all but freezing in his tracks when he spotted Kimi, who had to work to not smirk at his teammate.  
  
"Kimi." Romain acknowledged him quietly. They were always careful in public, restricting themselves to cold, professional interactions, and Kimi never allowed himself any sort of emotion. So he nodded lightly, but stole glances at the Frenchman throughout the day as the team worked around them. He couldn't shake the feeling like he had something to say.  
  
"Kimi?" He heard his physio ask, snapping him out of his little day dream.  
  
"Yeah yeah, can I go?" Kimi asked coldly, but his trainer knew better, nodding and waving him off. He happily walked— or nearly ran out of the garage and into the pitlane, walking passed all of the other garages, glancing quickly inside each one. He finally reached his motorhome and took two steps at a time up to his designated room. He didn't normally like to stay in the motorhome for long periods of time, but it was the easiest thing. He just needed _quiet._

**~*~**

Kimi completely avoided Romain for the rest of the weekend. He didn't even get out of his car or remove his helmet while the team worked on it in FP2. Romain was on the other side of the garage, sitting on a toolbox with his knees pulled into his chest, laughing about something with his engineer. _That fucking smile._  
  
And yeah, he and Romain had their ''moments'' before their chat in the motorhome. Hell, they nearly fucked on more than one occasion, but everything seemed radically different now that Kimi was leaving. Now that Romain knew. It was eating away at him, he felt like he was running out of time, like he wouldn't ever see Romain again. Which was fucking stupid. They would have plenty of moments to see each other, but it didn't help Kimi's racing heart.

**~*~**

For Kimi, qualifying was poor, and for Romain it was stellar, but Kimi was used to this by now. He used to want to make excuses for himself, but he quickly realised that it doesn't help anybody to make up stories, so he just accepted it. He sat on the grid, already in his car and tried to look ahead to where the third place position would be, but he couldn't see it.

**~*~**

"Safety car in this lap." Kimi's engineer spoke into his ear, and he prepared himself as best he could. He liked Sebastian, but God, he was a little shit on the restarts, bunching up the group and bolting away after making you almost smash into his rear wing. He had Romain in front, and as they came around the final corner, he saw exactly what he expected: Sebastian making a run for it down the main straight, and Kimi had one fucking chance.  
  
He gave everything the car had to offer, pushing himself to the limit, and he could see that he was gaining. It seemed to be going in slow motion but he finally got close enough, veering to the left at the last moment and they were side by side. Romain pushed a little to the left, but Kimi had the room and he was braking as late as he possibly dared into turn one. Somehow, against the odds he had made it work, and on the next straight they had yellow flags. No overtaking. For a moment Kimi's stomach dropped.

**~*~**

Kimi was in his hotel room, sitting in one of the plush chairs, fiddling with something on his phone. He had an early flight to catch in the morning, but he couldn't sleep. The rest of the hotel was completely quiet, which was strange, since all of the drivers stayed in the same hotel, and usually there would be one or two making an obscene amount of noise. Kimi sighed loudly and leaned back in the chair, closing his eyes.  
  
There was a knock on his door and he didn't answer, he figured people would learn by now. But there was a knock again, louder now, and he heard an all too familiar French accent from the other side.  
  
"Kimi let me in." Romain was yelling. Loudly. Kimi bolted up from his seat and ran to the door. He was pretty certain he had never run so fast in his entire life, and he swung the door open, face to face with Romain, who was just _staring_ at him, face completely neutral. Kimi reached out and grabbed his wrist, yanking him inside and slamming the door.  
  
"What is wrong with you?!" Kimi was as loud as he dared to be. "Do you know how many people probably watched you come into my room?"  
  
"I don't care." Romain said, stepping closer.  
  
"You should. You have a wife."  
  
"So do you." Romain's face was still completely blank, but Kimi's eyes narrowed, and he licked his lips, thinking about what he was going to say. "I made a mistake." Romain spoke again before Kimi could say anything.  
  
"What does that mean.." Kimi asked, confused. He wasn't entirely sure what his teammate was talking about.  
  
"You passed me because I made a mistake." It was so strange to see Romain without a smile.  
  
"Yes." Kimi said flatly, straightening his shoulders. "And I won't apologise for that. We're racing drivers." Kimi was going to say something more, but Romain was rushing forward, his hands reaching up to grip the collar of Kimi's shirt and pulling him clumsily into his chest. Their lips met suddenly and Kimi could swear he heard a sizzle. Romain's mouth was warm and inviting; _familiar._  
  
Kimi was guided backwards and gently nudged into the chair he'd been sitting in before. The chair was large enough for the both of them, and Romain unbuckled his belt, pulling it and tossing it onto the floor, climbing onto Kimi's lap, legs on either side of his hips. Kimi squirms underneath him, and his hands slide underneath Kimi's shirt, touching flushed skin. He inhaled sharply, and arched into the touch, letting Romain push his shirt up and over his head, discarding it.  
  
Kimi let his hands roam across the younger man's body, settling on his arse, groping shamelessly. Romain looked him up and down, his eyes dark and leaned in, pressing his lips to Kimi's, sighing into his mouth. He rolled his hips, forcing their cocks to grind together through fabric, and now it was Kimi's turn to sigh. He pushed Romain's shirt up and let him shrug it off completely, and Kimi ran his hands greedily down Romain's chest and stomach.  
  
"God.." Romain nearly moaned, leaning into Kimi's touch, letting the warmth of his hands sear his skin. As much as he enjoyed the show, Kimi was never the patient type, and his hands travelled lower, palming Romain's cock through his jeans, eliciting another beautiful sound from the Frenchman's throat.  
  
"Come on." Kimi tightened his grip, and Romain new exactly what he wanted, lifting himself up awkwardly to remove his jeans. Kimi slid his own jeans and underwear down his thighs, and he looked at his teammate, his dick tenting in his underwear, and he grabbed his hips suddenly, forcing him back down on his lap. He instinctively rocked his hips up, feeling Romain's cock throb against his. "Get rid of these." He rasped, tugging on the hem of the thin fabric between them, and leaning forward to place hot, wet kisses down Romain's neck.  
  
Romain pulled them down far enough to free his dick, and _finally_ there was skin on skin. Kimi gasped loudly, his head falling onto the back of the chair as Romain ground down on him and buried his face in Kimi's neck, hot breath splashing over his skin. Their cocks rubbed together deliciously, and Kimi was finding it impossible to concentrate, his brain turning to snow.  
  
"Good." Kimi mumbled, hands still on Romain's hips, forcing their bodies closer together. "So good." Romain's breathing was ragged against his neck as they moved together in a perfect rhythm. Much more of this, and Kimi wouldn't last.  
  
"Kimi, I..." Romain panted, placing a sloppy kiss on his neck. Kimi shifted slightly, moving one arm to wrap around Romain's waist, holding him close, and his other hand reached between them, gripping their cocks together and pumping hard. Almost instantly, he came all over his own hand, the intensity of it hitting him like a brick wall. Romain bucked against his hand, and Kimi could hardly control his movements, feeling Romain's dick pulse in his hand. He bit down hard on Kimi's neck as he came, making Kimi hiss in a strange mixture of pain and satisfaction.  
  
Romain's body relaxed and sagged against Kimi's chest, his tongue licking over the spot where a bruise would likely form in the morning. Kimi smiled contentedly, before suddenly remembering the circumstances of their encounter, and that overwhelming feeling rushed back to him. _Protect. Comfort. Love._  
  
"Up." Kimi said softly, lightly pushing him into a sitting position. He adjusted their clothes, and stood them both up, guiding Romain to the bed and lying him down on his back. He disappeared into the bathroom for a moment and came back with a wet cloth, wiping down Romain's stomach and tossing it to the side. Romain's face was blank again, looking like he had when he first came into the room.  
  
"Listen," Kimi slid his jeans off and left them on the floor, moving to lie down next to his teammate. "What happened today.." Kimi trailed off, and Romain looked at him out the corner of his eye. "I'm sorry that you made a mistake, but I'm not sorry that I passed you. You win some, and you lose some." Kimi sighed, but continued. "You're young, and you're _good._ You will have everything you want if you're patient."  
  
"I won't have you." Romain replied quietly.  
  
For a few moments, Kimi was quiet. He wasn't exactly sure what to make of that statement, and something in his chest tightened. He shrugged and smiled down at his teammate. "But you have me now." 


End file.
